For anyone who has
struggled with renouncing anything --- whether a bad relationship, an addictive
behavior, or simply a recurring, negative train of thought --- I cannot
recommend too highly the wonderfully articulate and powerful book by Buddhist
psychoanalyst, Dr. Mark Epstein: “Open to Desire.” Here’s a brief excerpt:
In a recent discussion with Western psychologists on the managing of destructive emotions like anger, greed and envy, the Dalai Lama was asked by one of the participants if there were any emotions that he could think of that might preserve or reinforce the calmness of mind that he thought was so important, and so lacking in today’s world. The question came somewhat out of frustration. The way the Dalai Lama had been talking about emotional experience, it was starting to seem as if he saw all emotions as afflictive. This was puzzling to many of the Western participants, who seemed more likely than their Tibetan counterparts to give value to their emotional lives. Were there no positive aspects of emotional life that the Dalai Lama could think of?
His answer was very interesting.
“Renunciation,” he replied, is an emotion that can contribute to peace of mind. “It is the first step to really, thoroughly determining how vulnerable we are to suffering. If we understand how utterly vulnerable we are, and recognize that these mental afflictions make us so vulnerable, then we can see the possibility of the mind becoming free of those mental afflictions.”
It was difficult for the Westerners at this meeting to conceive of renunciation as an emotion until the translator for the Dalai Lama, an American scholar named Alan Wallace, gave an etymological clarification. The Tibetan word that the Dalai Lama used to describe the “emotion” of renunciation could more literally be translated as “a spirit of emergence.” Rather than renunciation being something that we impose on ourselves, as the Western mind, steeped in Protestantism and the Freudian superego, tends to conceive it, it can be something that emerges out of self-awareness. The Dalai Lama described it in more detail for his listeners.
“You are recognizing the nature of suffering, but you also sense the possibility of emerging from this ubiquitous vulnerability to suffering— this is why it is called the spirit of emergence. The spirit of emergence could also be called an emotion; there is an enormous amount of emotional content to it. It entails a radical disillusionment with the whole of samsara. And so, whether you call it disgust or disillusionment, it is a profound sadness with respect to the mundane. This is all, theoretically, in anticipation of ascertaining the possibility of nirvana— complete and irreversible freedom from mental afflictions.”
Epstein, Mark (2006-01-05). Open to Desire: The Truth About What the Buddha Taught. Gotham. Kindle Edition.
In a recent discussion with Western psychologists on the managing of destructive emotions like anger, greed and envy, the Dalai Lama was asked by one of the participants if there were any emotions that he could think of that might preserve or reinforce the calmness of mind that he thought was so important, and so lacking in today’s world. The question came somewhat out of frustration. The way the Dalai Lama had been talking about emotional experience, it was starting to seem as if he saw all emotions as afflictive. This was puzzling to many of the Western participants, who seemed more likely than their Tibetan counterparts to give value to their emotional lives. Were there no positive aspects of emotional life that the Dalai Lama could think of?
His answer was very interesting.
“Renunciation,” he replied, is an emotion that can contribute to peace of mind. “It is the first step to really, thoroughly determining how vulnerable we are to suffering. If we understand how utterly vulnerable we are, and recognize that these mental afflictions make us so vulnerable, then we can see the possibility of the mind becoming free of those mental afflictions.”
It was difficult for the Westerners at this meeting to conceive of renunciation as an emotion until the translator for the Dalai Lama, an American scholar named Alan Wallace, gave an etymological clarification. The Tibetan word that the Dalai Lama used to describe the “emotion” of renunciation could more literally be translated as “a spirit of emergence.” Rather than renunciation being something that we impose on ourselves, as the Western mind, steeped in Protestantism and the Freudian superego, tends to conceive it, it can be something that emerges out of self-awareness. The Dalai Lama described it in more detail for his listeners.
“You are recognizing the nature of suffering, but you also sense the possibility of emerging from this ubiquitous vulnerability to suffering— this is why it is called the spirit of emergence. The spirit of emergence could also be called an emotion; there is an enormous amount of emotional content to it. It entails a radical disillusionment with the whole of samsara. And so, whether you call it disgust or disillusionment, it is a profound sadness with respect to the mundane. This is all, theoretically, in anticipation of ascertaining the possibility of nirvana— complete and irreversible freedom from mental afflictions.”
Epstein, Mark (2006-01-05). Open to Desire: The Truth About What the Buddha Taught. Gotham. Kindle Edition.
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