Monday, March 18, 2013

Creativity in Education: Fourth in a brand-new series of Guided Meditations by Dr. Robert Weathers

Dr Robert Weathers on Creativity in Education: Mindful Awareness Practice (20 minutes) - YouTube

Creativity in the Workplace: Handling the Pain-Body with Emotional Intelligence, Part 2


(See previous blog on Eckhart Tolle's pain-body.)

Here is where the work of Daniel Goleman, on emotional intelligence, may be especially beneficial.  Goleman articulates four different aspects of emotional intelligence (EI, for short) which pertain: 1) self-awareness, 2) self-management, 3) social awareness, and 4) relationship management.

In a nutshell (the thoughtful reader is recommended to Goleman's series of related books): self-awareness requires that I first of all attend to what's going on inside me.  Particularly, when a co-worker comes at me --- as above, for example, with habitual criticism and negativity, presumably activated by their own pain-bodies ---- I must first of all carefully note what gets stirred up inside me.  Why, you might ask?

If I only react in kind to negativity from a co-worker --- that is, criticize or attack back --- then it's simply pain-body fighting it out with pain-body.  Neither person wins, and the sum total is increased negativity and conflict.

So the first step is honest self-appraisal (Goleman's self-awareness).  Second, it is followed by Goleman’s “self-management,” or what I like to think of as self-care.  Here are three suggestions:

1)      Take care of ourselves physically, so that we are more resilient and resourceful, generally speaking.  This would include: adequate rest, balanced diet, and very importantly, regular exercise.  When we’re rested, our blood sugar is OK, and we’ve had vigorous physical outlets, we’re in the best shape possible to handle unpleasant co-workers.

2)      Rely on good friends (including co-workers we trust) to help us sort through difficult situations.  Friends lend perspective, plus it can really help bolster us up to have emotional support from those we care most about.

3)      Maintain some form of prayer or meditation (even if simply focusing daily for a few moments on peaceful breathing) to afford us a different, deeper baseline than that offered by the adrenaline-pumping pain-body.

Third, we need to be sure to pay attention to our unpleasant co-worker’s attitude and behaviors.  Goleman calls this “social awareness.”  As in our earlier discussion of the pain-body, we can typically pick on a co-worker’s mood, including pervasive negativity, well before they confront us directly with it. 

Fourth, and vital here, is what Goleman calls “relationship management.”  An emotionally intelligent response to a belligerent or difficult co-worker requires skillful handling interpersonally.  A few practical tips here:

1)      Assert: state clearly --- in “I-messages” --- to your co-worker what they have said or done that has affected you directly.

2)      Listen: inquire into their understanding of what happened.  Oftentimes, active listening with a compassionate ear can defuse an otherwise incendiary situation.

3)      Collaborate: here is where you and your co-worker come up together with a plan to do things differently.

4)      Set boundaries: if there cannot be a meeting of the minds (in #3), then “escalate” the assertion by suggesting what steps you plan to take if there can be no effective resolution between the two of you.

Key to all of the above is to aim for not adding fuel to the fire (the pain-body) by regulating our own selves to begin with (self-management, or self-care, as previously delineated).  This way, when we do need to set firm boundaries, or even report non-cooperative behavior to our superiors, we do so out of a place of positivity; leaving us feeling clear and with a burden lifted, rather than confused and now burdened with a bad mood or worse.

Creativity in the Workplace: Handling the Pain-Body with Emotional Intelligence, Part 1


What do we do when a co-worker, or even a boss, habitually criticizes us, steals our best ideas, maybe even has it in for us?  Two suggestions, one each from two of the best-selling authors in the world today, may be of service here.

First, Eckhart Tolle has described --- in his books, "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth" --- what he calls the pain-body.  This pain-body is the sum total of all the emotional (or physical) trauma we have experienced across our lives, especially during those sensitive years of early childhood and adolescent development.  Abuse and neglect, what psychology calls attachment injuries, get stored away in the emotional centers of our brains. 

For Tolle, the pain-body maintains its own homeostasis, or sense of equilibrium, by perpetuating various kinds of emotional armor: whether in attacking others, avoiding them, or even (usually quite unconsciously) inviting others' attacks and abuse.

In any case, the pain-body is universal; though its density, or what Tolle calls its "heaviness," obviously varies a lot between individuals.

Now what does this pain-body have to do with the workplace examples provided above?  Not only do we observe, if we're alert and vigilant, how it is that some co-workers carry particularly heavy, or intense, pain-bodies; but also that every individual maintains a certain quality, or felt sense, of their own unique pain-body.
The amount, and kind, of negativity any given individual's pain-body manifests is immediately observable; nowhere as visibly as when that pain-body, or emotional negativity, is turned toward us!

Part of the problem here is that we each carry our own set of reactivities and emotional vulnerabilities, all rooted in our own pain-bodies.  Any response to another co-worker’s negativity has first to be routed productively through the maze of our own subjectivity, including pain-body.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Dr. Robert Weathers on Two Ways of Experiencing Pain

Check out my latest post on experiencing Two Ways of Experiencing Pain here.

A Look Back --- and Forward --- On Jump-Starting the "Creative Spark"

You might say CalSouthern’s Master Lecture Series was inspired by inspiration. It was May 2009 and Dr. Barbara Grimes, Dean of CalSouthern’s School of Behavioral Sciences, and Dr. Robert Weathers, curriculum developer, were in Oslo, Norway, attending a conference presented by the European Association of Distance Learning.

Read more about the CalSouthern’s Master Lecture Series: A Look Back—and Forward here.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

More on "Tips for Transformative Learning"

In response to my recent blog on "Tips for Transformative Learning," one reader asked:
"Can you spell out some of the drawbacks/how learning is restricted when we approach learning with a more experienced mind, recognizing familiar material, and categorizing things into familiar cubbyholes?"

Tips for Transformative Learning

In the Eastern tradition of Zen, there is the notion of “beginner’s mind.” To adopt this attitude, of beginner’s mind, requires that we stay always open to new insights. Even when encountering what may feel like familiar material, we are to approach it with a childlike receptivity. Perhaps we first visited this material a year ago. But we are no longer that same person. Now we have the opportunity to digest and incorporate this information from a vantage point one year more mature.

Read the entire article on Tips for Transformative Learning by Robert Weathers here.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Further Reflections on Composing a Creative Life

Last week, under the title “On Composing a Creative Life,” I blogged the following poem, perhaps my favorite of all:
  
We Are Many by Pablo Neruda

Of the many men whom I am, whom we are, I cannot settle on a single one.

They are lost to me under the cover of clothing. They have departed for another city.

When everything seems to be set to show me off as a man of intelligence, the fool I keep concealed in my person takes over my talk and occupies my mouth.